I have never been a negative person; I am an optimist to the fullest. A couple semesters ago I took a positive psychology class and I realized that even being optimistic I had a lot of work to do. It’s crazy to think that most of us going for a psychology degree will study in the dysfunction of humans; I imagine this kind of work could really weigh someone down. But there is so much more to psychology, positive psychology. It’s a tool every one of us should have in our arsenal for those times when things get tough and those days that are filled with dark clouds. I always heard positive things happen to positive people and it sounded so cliché but it really is true. Even more important I believe it’s how you handle situations that can really shape your world. I think this excerpt says it best written by Martin Seligman:
“The message of the positive psychology movement is to remind our field that it has been deformed. Psychology is not just the study of disease, weakness, and damage; it also is the study of strength and virtue. Treatment is not just fixing what is wrong; it also is building what is right. Psychology is not just about ill-ness or health; it also is about work, education, insight, love, growth, and play. And in this quest for what is best, positive psychology does not rely on wishful thinking, self-deception, or hand waving; instead, it tries to adapt what is best in the scientific method to the unique problems that human behavior presents in all its complexity.”
I really made a strong connection to this kind of thinking after taking my positive psychology class. I really believe everyone should have a class like this; it’s motivational and really encourages one to think about the positive in their life and helps in ways to achieve it. The main reading for this class is How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World by Harry Browne and I can’t tell you last time I read a book that really just got me thinking. He explains these traps we can fall in and how they are often based on the social cognitive theory where some of this negative type behavior is influenced from growing up and those around us. One of the main traps is the identity trap. This trap explains how some people create these images of themselves in order to be who they think other people want them to be and how it can cause internal conflict and also how we may believe people to react the same way we do (Browne, 2004). A fairly simple idea but think about it, how many times have you put on an identity that was not truly yours in order to please someone or make nice, or how you may reacted bad towards someone because you expected them to respond just like you.
As a daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother and coworker I realized that it can be hard, really hard not to fall into this trap. There have been many times I look at my daughters expecting them to react like me, but they are not me. There could have been many avoided arguments with my parents or husband in realizing they do not think and react like me and that is okay. If I allow myself into the identity trap I can make things harder than they need to be and this can cause negative outcomes. I believe the self-fulfilling prophecy can be used here to explain the more positive view you have on things the better choices you will probably make and therefore have more positive outcomes. I think taking the time to access your life and really dive into what makes you happy is a well worth endeavor. This is a reason I recommend a class of this type be mandatory.
Just imagine how optimism can be applied in your everyday life. In our work, marriage, family and other relationships can be so much more rewarding if we choose to have positive relationships. Everyday life can at times feel overwhelming especially when most of us are multitasking our roles every day. We learned this from young ages through social learning theory of how many of our parents managed just to get the everyday done without much thought of living happy. I was trapped to some of this kind of thinking as well but decided I wanted more for myself and my family. I want us to be happy in life and I think having a class that focuses on the positive especially in psychology is a great foundation. There is so much more to the human element that positive psychology is just starting to scrape the surface of.
References
Browne, H. (2004). How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World. PDF file.
Seligman, M. E. (2002). Positive psychology, positive prevention, and positive therapy. Handbook of positive psychology. http://www.positiveculture.org/uploads/7/4/0/7/7407777/seligrman_intro.pdf
Here is the original post from I published at Penn State:
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