I think today there is some hidden assumption that positivity must reflect happy thoughts all the time and seeing a rainbow every day. But the point of positivity is severely missed with that thought process. The idea of being positive or optimistic is seeing that there is always a solution to a problem or another path to a successful reality. There are too many times we get tunnel vision that if this one way doesn’t work out it must not work. But that is not so. There are many solutions and other valuable realities that come out of any situation no matter how grim they may appear to be.

I am a mother and constantly try to instill positive thought processes to my girls. It helps them to learn how to cope with things that do not go their way and become more resilient. I mean my job as a parent is to teach my kids how to work through things on their own because it is not always a happy world out there but you have full control how you handle the world. I want them to flourish and be successful and these are some important tools to accomplish that.

Situation

So, Easter Sunday we had corn bread to make and my oldest was helping me. She’s my kitchen helper. We get all the ingredients out ready to start and I realize at this point all our eggs are now in a hard boiled, jeweled color state. Whoops! And almost every store is closed and honestly I don’t want to make the effort to go out. So my daughter says, “I guess without all the stuff we won’t be able to make the bread.” Sad face (*note she didn’t say can’t, but we will get back to that) so I looked at her and said, “Every problem has a solution, what do you think we should do?”

She instantly went into thought mode instead of defeat mode. She was curious how there was another possible way as she has just started her love of cooking and hasn’t realized all the substitutes there are and ways around missing or forgotten ingredients. I told her to look up egg substitutes for baking, there has to be a few since some people are allergic and some people are vegan.

Sure enough we found like ten, I think we have to have at least one of those in our pantry.  We found applesauce and carbonated water works, we have both, so we used both for the two eggs, ¼ cup applesauce and ¼ cup carbonated water each equaling one egg. I let her know it might not taste the same, may be better or worse or the same as always but it was worth finding out and not giving up. What if we made it better? Creativity born from challenges.

What is the take away…

That my fellow leaders that is being positive. Seeing a roadblock and finding another path of reality that will still make it succeed. That is what positive is about -not giving up at the first sign of struggle.

Could you imagine never being challenged? No growth, no improvement in yourself or the situations you are involved with, that would be a boring complacent life. So being positive is a true strength and it is not about being unrealistic about the situation or being delusional in your optimism but simply just seeing another way, a different perspective, a different angle. So when you run out of eggs you do not stop baking you find an another way. And make delicious bread (and it came out great!).

*The side note on can’t – it wasn’t the word she used as we tell our girls that is a bad word. Can’t is a cop out. Maybe you need help, need time to hone a skill, haven’t figure it YET but yes you can. And it’s a strength to ask for help when you need it not a weakness as all leaders know that is how we grow and improve with help from others when we need a different perspective on a problem.

What is your go to positive technique or skill you use to keep seeing another valuable reality of success?

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